be alert! be alarmed! be afraid of the wardrobe!

These are strange times indeed.
Our federal government exhorts us to “be alert” but “not alarmed”. (I didn’t open the parcel, but I do watch TV). Unless, of course, we see something “suspicious”, something “not quite right”, something “un-Australian”.
Whilst undertaking my regular work-related duties last week, I spotted something which disturbed me deeply. Picture an average suburban dweller in an average suburban street. Nothing suspicious there? But add to this picture a pair of most peculiar pants. They were beige. They were mid-calf length. They were shaped like pantaloons. They were drawn in toward the calf with rouching and tied off with a piece of string like shoelaces. The were teamed with beige, stiletto heeled, fringed boots.
They were TERROR TROUSERS. (I live in fear.)