Last Friday night as I was standing out the front of work with two office chairs – awaiting the new owner of the said chairs – a small hatch-back, packed to the rafters, pulled up by the pavement. A young woman who was also waiting at the front of the building jumped in, after stuffing […]

Given we live only a stone’s throw from Flemington (albeit on the wrong side of the river), Cup Day is usually spent dodging limos and taxis in our street and pointing lost and foot-sore punters in the direction of the train station. Many local Footscrayers pack up the card tables and camp chairs and set […]

There are many things that I have never actually owned. A yacht, a camel, a pair of roller skates, a not butt-ugly couch, for example, are a few things that spring immediately to mind. There are also many things that, while I have never owned them, I’ve always had access to them. This would include […]

And, yea, there were a multitude. Many umbrellas died in yesterday’s downpour, this is how I killed mine: Scramble onto a packed train with my three bags and half closed, dripping umbrella behind me. Squashed back against the door by the crush, I can’t close the umbrella. I spot a person who I’m trying to […]

When you do a White Pages internet search for ‘florist’, one of the hits is for the Molly Blooms Hotel. “Hey, I’ll go and get the flowers”, comes a chorus of volunteers. “I think not’, say I.

Our dog Maisie knows her own mind and has strong views on the way things should be: “Get uuup“, she implores each morning at daybreak. “I have to go for a walk nowwwww“, at approximately 6.30am and between 4.00 and 6.00pm each day. ” I want some of your food. Give me some. Pleeeeease“, whenever […]

Him: “How’s life? Peachy?” Her: “OMG. I’m eating a peach now. Life IS peachy!” Him: “I’m s…peachless!” Chuckles all round.

A moment of pure terror in a changing room at Highpoint. Waltzed into the purveyor of jeans and selected the usual: straight cut, slim fit, black denim, size 10. And, hey, 20% off!! Just made the tedious trip out by tram worthwhile. Decided to try them on with a couple of ‘possible’ new shirts. Into […]

Any successful workplace relocation requires a high level of organisation and coordination. Today we spent twenty minutes being briefed on the correct placement of stickers on the moving boxes. A sample box and stickers were provided for those finding the verbal directions too complex/confusing. No written directions are allowed on the boxes. All communication will […]

Each attempt to use the hole-punch device today was prefaced by a short, sharp static-electric shock. And an aggreived ‘Ow!’ I thought it was only shoes with ridiculously high heels which posed a health and safety issue. I’ve got to move that hole-punch within reaching distance.